My yoga journey

How did it happen that I was acting in Estonian films and series, working in theater, and releasing music, but suddenly decided that I would start doing yoga every day? Well, it didn't actually happen overnight. Several things led to me wanting to take a break! Why share this?

Well, there are several reasons for this! The first is that maybe someone else who feels like life is throwing rocks at them and doesn't know exactly what to do next will find the courage to take a break and try something new. This new thing doesn't have to be yoga, of course, but if it is yoga, then you are welcome to a yoga training. But, before you can decide anything, I'll tell you how it all started.

I took my first yoga class over 15 years ago at university, but it didn't leave much of an impression on me. I guess I wasn't ready for it yet. But the second experience was much more vivid.

I really couldn't calm down. Not at all. My brain couldn't calm down. Never. And I went to yoga - obviously not voluntarily, but my friend invited me. And the strangest thing happened - my brain calmed down. I immediately realized that this was something I needed to do more and more.

Of course, I couldn't have predicted that I would end up studying to be a yoga teacher, trainer, psychologist, and finally a scientist. At first, I just wanted to be able to be calm, even for a little while. And that's what I got in every yoga class.

The second reason is perhaps a little embarrassing… I’m probably at a point where I want to understand why I took such a big leap into the unknown. And while social media can get on my nerves sometimes, the good thing about it is that it keeps me accountable. I promised to share with you, so I have to do this analysis myself.

A little over 10 years ago, I was the lead in several theater plays, participated in the TV show Tähed Jääl and Eesti Laul… But then there was a short break. Vat Theater's production of Liblikapõyja played its last performance, was not invited to any new TV shows and did not make it to the final of Eesti Laul…, so…

...I left Estonia for a while. In San Francisco, I did yoga almost every day and fell in love with the yoga studio there, and when I came back to Estonia, I missed yoga and practicing alone at home.

Even though I didn't want to go on stage anymore and I didn't know what I should do instead, something seemed clearer while doing yoga. I didn't know what, but I knew, seeing an ad for a yoga class on FB, that I wanted to go there!

Until I figure out what to do next.

By the way, this was the exact same yoga training that I now conduct in our studio ;) But at first, of course, I didn't plan to start doing it, I just wanted to learn more about yoga!

I wonder if this kind of leap into the unknown is familiar to you?

I made the decision to go to yoga training, but I didn't have a plan yet on how I was going to raise money for it. I decided to take on two major jobs that were absolutely not related to acting, but rather to project management. I thought that I had been managing projects for myself my entire conscious life - to release my own album, to make music videos, and even to perform.

So I dedicated myself to the world of figure skating for half a year and shooting for half a year, then went to yoga training.

Unexpectedly, this decision served two purposes at once, as in addition to new skills, I was able to improve my project management skills and gain the courage to open my own yoga studio (where I now conduct yoga training myself).

Okay, now I'm getting ahead of myself. But yes, I had to go to work to pay for the yoga training, but this time it was easy and enjoyable to make that decision because I knew I wasn't making a decision for life, but for a specific goal.

And in the meantime, of course, there was the thought that maybe I should start working on project management instead, but no, I needed to attend the training there! I felt this calling so strongly.

A bit like when you were little, when you had to sell flowers at the market to buy ice cream later :D Do you know that feeling? Only this time the stakes were higher...

When I went to the yoga training, I didn't plan on actually teaching yoga. I probably wanted to find clarity about what I wanted to do with my life, but at the same time I also wanted to learn a yoga series so I could practice it on my own at home.

But I had no idea what a journey those 21 days would be! I was able to experience so many different moods in three weeks that in the last week, when I was riding my bike towards the studio, I finally felt clarity.

And it turned out that after years of acting, I had somehow managed to lose my joy in acting. It had been replaced by a great, gray stage fright that seemed easier to avoid than to go through. To put on a good face and smile, instead of just allowing myself to be uncomfortable. I didn't have the means either.

And so, while practicing yoga, I quietly began to learn the tools to deal with anxiety so that I could go on stage again (without vomiting 😃).

Uh, and I've been there before. Although mostly as a teacher or trainer. I like to share my own journey of dealing with anxiety in yoga classes, because I've found that quite a few students identify with it. Or what do you think?

Well, if you are also looking for change or just clarity, check out our trainings www.inbodhiyoga.com/tallinn